I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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