Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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