At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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