Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
