why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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