Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
