Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
