Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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