Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
