your parents love me but you hate me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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