So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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