Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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