i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
