when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
