today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
