so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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