im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
