I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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