I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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