The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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