We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
