How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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