Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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