So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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