Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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