He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
