you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
