he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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