Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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