How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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