He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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