Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
