She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
