Plan B is the new Plan A
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
