He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
