you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize