I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize