just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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