come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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