Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
