I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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