You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
