Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
