just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
