hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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