Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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