I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
