I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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