So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
