I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
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Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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