You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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