Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
