Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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