curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
