were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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