Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
