I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
